London, July 14, 2024 – A man has revealed he donated his sperm so his sister-in-law could get pregnant, making him uncle to his biological son.
Adam Zayden, 25, from Newham, London, knew his sister Jade, 29, and her wife Eefje, 30, had been trying for a baby since 2018, but couldn’t find a donor.
Every time he caught up with them, they sounded ‘more-and-more frustrated’ and after three years, Adam suggested he donate his own sperm to Eefje.
She got pregnant after six months of trying – inseminating herself with the help of Jade at home after Adam ‘did his thing’.
Their baby boy, now 16 months old, was born on March 18, 2023, weighing 9lb. Jade says her baby has ‘mine and Adam’s bum chin,’ but looks mostly like Eefje.
Adam, who is a social media influencer, said: ‘They became so frustrated with the donor process – it just felt like the right and easy thing to do.
‘This whole process has made me so much closer to my sister and her partner. Now they have a little boy, and I’m really happy for them.’
Jade, a researcher and developer, and Eefje, a vet, who live in Amsterdam, always wanted to have children together.
‘Children was always something Eefje wanted,’ Jade said. She continued: ‘I wasn’t so sure because of our little sister and how much work that was.
‘But in the end, I was very happy to start our own little family.’ She added: ‘And I wouldn’t want it any other way.’
The couple opted for the sperm donation route because adoption seemed like a lengthy and expensive process.
Despite asking a couple of mutual friends to be a sperm donor, each one fell through.
Adam said: ‘They live out in the Netherlands – artificial insemination isn’t covered by health insurance so the search can be quite extensive.’
Eefje and Jade found a number of sperm donors were asking to conceive the ‘natural’ way – via unprotected sex.
Adam said: ‘They’d met a couple of nice people. But they had quite an unfortunate situation where everything was going really well, at first.
‘They even set up a donor contract with him – which is an agreement where you set out your intentions for how you want the donation to work.
‘But he literally turned around and said he wanted to do things the natural way. He wanted to sleep with my sister-in-law, which was never in the realm of what they wanted.
Adam continued: ‘It was basically supposed to be a case of him taking himself off to the bathroom. Then, my sister-in-law inseminates herself.’
While they didn’t have to pay any fees to the donors – they often lost money travelling to meet them.
Eefje and Jade grew increasingly frustrated by the process. ‘It really was an emotional rollercoaster,’ Jade added.
She continued: ‘Because you’re opening yourself up in the most vulnerable of times. You’re welcoming, essentially, strangers, into your life. You’re then dependent on strangers to help fulfill one of your biggest dreams.’
Eefje said: ‘You’re also being exposed to a lot of potential hate. Whether that’s from sharing your experience, or just in general while searching for a donor.’
In 2021, they called Adam to explain how hopeless they were feeling and asked him if he might consider donating his sperm.
He said: ‘They’d joked before about me giving them mine’.
‘After all their trials and tribulations, they called me sometime in 2021. They essentially just said: “We’re really struggling with this stuff” and if I’d be ok with it.’
Adam said it was an easy decision to make. Given that he does not want to have his own children in the future, he thought it made a good opportunity to help his sister out.
‘It really wasn’t that big of a deal,’ he said. He continued: ‘I’m a queer person myself, and I don’t really see myself having kids.’
Before donating, Adam had to go through a number of tests to find out if he was a suitable donor.
He said: ‘Every night during that one-week period, Jade would take the dog out for a walk. I’d go upstairs, do my thing, and hand Eefje the sperm.’
Adam did this for six-to-seven days each month, between December 2021 and June 2022.
In June 2022, Eefje discovered she was pregnant and their baby was born in March, 2023.
‘I’ve met him quite a few times now,’ Adam said. He continued: ‘I am his uncle, but I’m known as ‘bibi.’
Jade said: ‘It wasn’t until we properly started the process that we realised how much nicer it was having someone like Adam to help.
‘It was great having someone you really know and trust, because it’s such an emotional time.’
He took an STD test, which came back clear, as well as having his sperm count examined.
“I found out I’m very fertile,’ he said. Adam added: ‘Which is always fun to find out.’
Doctors then asked him to take a ‘pill’ to boost his sperm count, and he was told to keep an eye on when Eefje was ovulating. (Mail online)
